Article from The Herald Sun - Body & Soul liftout
July 08, 2007 12:00am

Well Rounded

By Louisa Deasey

SOMETIMES an old-fashion women's circle is what a gal needs to really feel complete.

Even the most gung-ho career-oriented of us has a spiritual side which needs nurturing. Thankfully, with the slew of domestic goddess trends taking off, the women's circle has enjoyed a recent revival. For those interested in nurturing their female spirit, the traditional women's circle provides a more spiritually satisfying domestic alternative to Pilates, aerobics or high tea.

Mim Bartlett, a qualified psychotherapist who has been facilitating women's circles in Melbourne and Singapore for over 10 years, previously has a career as a corporate trainer. Bartlett says, "Exploring our female side is vital for the wellbeing of both ourselves and those around us. With the emphasis on the yin nature of work, career and action in our lives at the moment, it's important to nurture our yang side, to come back to the feminine, which I think is why the women's circle is enjoying a revival."

Sacred Space

Women's circles have been around for aeons. From native America, pagan Europe, indigenous Australia to tribal Africa, different circles have existed across the earth, all performing a similar function: to share information, honour women's intuitive wisdom and acknowledge important milestones in their lives.

From births, deaths, marriages, divorces, healing and naming a child, to graduation and even to celebrate the monthly cycle of life, women's circles provide a way to honour meaningful occasions.

Bartlett adds, "We need a space to honour ritual in our lives and the sacred passing of time. The rise of materialism has left a lot of women empty and isolated and wanting to develop themselves internally. Women's circles bring them back to basics."

Circular Wisdom

Dianne McCann has been running regular women's circles in Asia, Australia and the UK for over 20 years. She agrees that one of the main reasons women's circles are becoming more necessary is that we don't have a place to honour ritual in our lives. She says the wisdom behind the circle, and why it is innately feminine, is that "no-one is a leader; that's why it's a circle".

"American feminist Gloria Steinem once said, 'Women's circles are psychic turf', and it's this emphasis on the spiritual nature of the circle which gives them their power.

"Bartlett conducts circles as an alternative to baby showers, birthday circles, bridal circles and healing circles. Bartlett says the healing circles can be some of the most powerful.

"For anyone suffering from illness, the loss of a loved one, separation or divorce, the women's circle provides a powerful healing energy, love and support, and it reminds the woman of her internal strength to handle adversity."

McCann adds, "You don't come to a women's circle to have your problems fixed, you come to find the solutions within yourself."

While there are many different types of women's circles, from the one-off hens' night celebration to a more regular monthly meeting, there are some basic ground rules which apply to any circle.

McCann says, "Four principles are used around the world: show up, pay attention, tell the truth and don't be attached to an outcome."

Show Up

McCann says, "You will always walk away with some new piece of knowledge - you can't leave without taking something, even if all you do is show up."

Pay Attention

Kate Foster, a Melbourne communications director, created a blog (www.spiritualbiz.blogspot.com) to document the effect of adding pagan ritual and spiritual traditions to both her work and her life. Foster has written often about how the circles have affected her.

"I am very fortunate that in my circle are two close friends who I trust and love," she says. "We meet regularly to cast spells and share on the new and full moons. It's not about the chants we write and read. It is the intention in the words and the knowledge in your heart that you are allowed to have what you desire; you feel it intuitively. The lyrical phrases, the smells, the flame and the charms all add to the intention and help you feel at a multi-sensory level that there is an invisible chord that binds us all across galaxies, and time brings us what we desire if we allow it."

Tell the Truth

McCann says a useful tool which has been used for centuries in women's circles is the "talking stick".

"Each member of the circle is given the stick in turn, as a reminder that words are sacred, talking is a privilege and very powerful, and that words can bring peace or bring pain."

Foster says, "The unspoken rules are that the circle is a sacred space where nothing leaves the circle. Speak your truth, but kindly and only when it is helpful. The act of standing with my closest female friends and saying what I need is very powerful. Change starts with your words."

McCann says the effect on women of speaking their truth and having it acknowledged in a circle is very powerful. "We've had women come to the circle from cultural backgrounds where it is forbidden for them to speak and they grow enormously through having a space to talk and be acknowledged."

Don't be attached to an Outcome

Kate James, a Melbourne personal development coach, started attending Bartlett's women's circles, expecting nothing more than a place to connect with other women.

"I wanted something a bit deeper than Pilates or yoga to reconnect with that spiritual side of myself."

James didn't join the group to achieve any outcomes - something she says she does all week at work - which is why it has been so powerful for her.

"It's just a beautiful night once a month where I'm filled back up. I meet women I would never have met, we all share in a way we wouldn't outside the circle, and you always leave with this beautiful energy after sharing the space and conducting rituals together."

Seeking a Circle

McCann says most women's circles have between three and 12 women, and some, such as healing circles after the death of a child, welcome men.

It's useful to look at three criteria if you're thinking of joining a circle, says McCann. "It must involve all the women who attend, it must contain elements of healing, change or transformation, and it must be a validation of all women in the room."

Whether you choose something as simple as a birthday circle, or a more regular monthly circle, such as those held by Bartlett and McCann, the increasing possibilities for women to honour the sacred and the spiritual is a perfect balance to the material gains we've made in the past decade.